Category: boundaries

You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance – you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behaviour and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and “continues” to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.

1. Recognize that you have choices. Usually people-pleasers feel as if they don’t have a choice, and they have to say yes when someone asks for their help. But you DO have a choice – and it’s Ok to say no.

2. Decide on your priorities. If you already have commitments or you have set priorities then it’s easy to say no as you’ve a genuine excuse. Do what matters most to you, and please remember – it’s your life!

3. Stall for time – don’t give an answer right away. Say you need a bit of time before you make up your mind. That allows you time and space to think about the consequences. For other things will likely suffer if you take on far too much.

. Don’t be afraid to add conditions to your yeses. For example, say that you’ll only say yes if someone else says yes as well – or only take on a new task for a set period of time.

5. Are you being manipulated? There are plenty who will use you to ensure their plans succeed, so watch out for those compliments and empty flattery.

6. Be firm when you say no. The first time you say no it feels uncomfortable and hard. But once you’ve done that a few times it starts to feel much easier. Also, if you sound confident then others take you seriously.

7. Don’t defend you decision. You have a right to say no – and to NOT defend yourself. It’s your life after all – you don’t have to explain “why” … or come up with excuses … or be pushed and pressurised. And don’t apologise to others – saying no is not a crime!

You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.

I’m slowly learning that some people aren’t good for me, no matter how much I love them.

Relationships fail when people take their own insecurities and project them as their partner’s flaws.

Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care.

1. If you don’t want to do it …

2. If you don’t like the people …

3. If you’d rather relax …

4. If you’re already over-scheduled…

5. If you don’t have the time …

6. If it doesn’t fit your values …

7. If you feel forced to say “yes” …

You can be a good person with a kind heart, and still say no.

1. Choose people who genuinely like you, and who want you to be yourself.

2. Choose people you don’t need to impress.

3. Choose people who treat you with respect.

4. Choose people who want you to do well, are happy when you’re happy, and who want to understand.

5. Choose people who are loyal, and who care

6. Choose people who’re dependable and safe.

Avoid people who mess with your head. Avoid people who intentionally and repeatedly do and say things that they know upset you. Avoid people who expect you to prioritize them but refuse to prioritize you. Avoid people who can’t and won’t apologize sincerely. Avoid. Avoid.