Category: counseling

1. Stop comparing yourself to others

2. Stop demanding and expecting perfection (from yourself and other people)

3. Practice kindness and understanding

4. Be your own best friend when you make a mistake

5. Look for things that you like about yourself and choose to take pleasure, and find joy, in them

6. Believe that you deserve to experience good things

7. Make the decision to enjoy your life, and to love what you are doing, and to believe in yourself.

There will always be someone who can’t see your worth. Don’t let it be you.

1. Forgive yourself. You aren’t perfect. No one is. Recognise that beating yourself up will only make things worse. Instead, forgive yourself, and then decide to just move on.

2. Focus on motivation. Without motivation, you can’t do anything. It’s much more powerful than self-discipline. So when things get tough, remind yourself of why life will be better if you reach your goal.

3. Make it easy. Discipline is tough so remove some obstacles. For example, if you’re having a hard time exercising, make it super easy by just doing 5 minutes to start with. If you can make that change for 30 days in a row, you’ll have developed a new habit.

4. Focus on enjoyment. It’s hard to push yourself — and to have self-discipline — when you hate doing something, or you see it as a drag. So do whatever you can to create a sense of fun. For example, if you don’t like exercise, find some good music, or a workout partner, and focus on that part of the activity.

5. Repeat. You’ll almost inevitably slip up from time to time, no matter how good, and committed, you are. Just get up, get going, and keeping marching straight ahead.

Source: http://zenhabits.net/6-small-things-you-can-do-when-you-lack-discipline/ (Adapted)

You are going to want to give up. Don’t.

Never giving up is how you win.

I’ve learned a lot this year. I learned that things don’t always turn our the way you planned, or the way you think they should. And I’ve learned that there are things that go wrong that don’t always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. I’ve learned that some broken things stay broken, and I’ve learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you

1. Distract yourself. Let your mind wander and think about fun things you’ve planned; or watch a funny movie; or call up a friend.

2. Play your favourite music.

3. Try and balance out your terrible day by thinking of something that went really well (and maybe unexpectedly well) recently.

4. Try to squeeze in time for exercise. The endorphins this releases will help to lift your mood.

5. Don’t isolate yourself. Research shows that we generally feel better if we spend time with others, rather than retreating and being on our own.

6. Try to maintain perspective. Ask yourself, “How much will this matter – a week, month or year from now?”

7. Try journaling. Many people find that just writing things down helps to drain away the negativity.

8. Go to bed early and try to fall asleep … And remember that tomorrow is another day.

Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones to rise above them.

So often we try to make other people feel better by minimizing their pain, by telling them that it will get better (which it will) or that there are worse things in the world (which there are). But that’s not what I actually needed. What I actually needed was for someone to tell me that it hurt because it mattered.
I have found this very useful to think about over the years, and I find that it is a lot easier and more bearable to be sad when you aren’t constantly berating yourself for being sad.

1. Don’t expect empathy, understanding, praise and recognition from a narcissistic person. Keep your private thoughts and feelings close to your heart, and don’t open up and make yourself vulnerable.

2. Expect them to be rude and to say offensive things.

3. Don’t be offended by the things they say and do as it’s not about you – they treat others the same way.

4. Make a lot of their achievements and praise them publicly as they’re always looking to be noticed and affirmed.

5. Don’t try to get a narcissist to see things differently as they’re not going to change, or be influenced by you.

6. Understand that a narcissist is going to drain you dry – and will guilt you into think that you haven’t done enough. But it’s actually not true. They just can’t be satisfied.

7. Don’t push for a meaningful relationship with them. It will always be one-sided. Look for love from someone else.