What cannot be said will be wept.
What cannot be said will be wept.
It takes a strong person to do their own thing and not wait for anybody else to validate their existence.
Experiences can leave us with some painful memories. They tie us to the past and prevent us moving on. And the only way to freedom is to work on letting go – so these memories don’t haunt us or keep us trapped in pain. Below are some guidelines to help you work on this.
1. Before you can let go, you must face whatever happened and accept that it is part of your past experiences. Suppression doesn’t work as a long-term solution. It can only be a band aid that brings temporary relief. Talk to someone you trust, or write about it in your journal. You need to share what happened, in order to move on.
2. Identify the lessons you have learned from what has happened. There’s always a lesson – so look for what you’ve learned. It doesn’t make it better – but it does lessen its power.
3. Write the lesson down on a piece of paper and repeat it to yourself when you’re hit by old, painful memories. For example, if you’ve been scarred by abuse, then you might write something like: “My experience of abuse does not determine who I am. I’m a stronger person now, and that is not my destiny. I’m choosing my own future, and the person I will be.”
4. Repeat this mantra often so it takes root in your mind. Allow it to be stronger than the bad experience. Say it often, till you mean it, then you’ll start to feel you’re freer. Persevere and keep on fighting when those old memories return.
5. Seek to be a person who’s at peace with themselves. When peace is your focus, old thoughts and memories have much less power over how you think and feel. However, seeking after peace must be a conscious, constant choice.
6. When the past tries to intrude, focus firmly on the present. Ground yourself in what’s happening around you in the room, and try to breathe deeply – and deliberately relax. You are here in this moment; you’re not living in the past.
7. Forgive – for your own sake. Try to heal from what happened – then let resentments go. You don’t want them in your life for they’ll just tie you to the past. It’s not an ease process; it takes work and discipline. But it is worth the daily struggle – as one day you’ll be free.
The darkest place I’ve ever seen was inside me, and nothing scared me more.
1. Choose your friends carefully and wisely.
2. Spend time doing things that are meaningful to you, and which replenish your energy.
3. Be careful about being in situations you know will overwhelm you.
4. Don’t compare yourself to others; and don’t let others push you around.
5. Give yourself plenty of alone time.
6. Respect your own needs and boundaries.
Courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid. Courage means you don’t let fear stop you.
So many people love you. Don’t focus on the people who don’t.
Be happy for no reason, like a child. If you are happy for a reason, you’re in trouble, because that reason can be taken from you.
The things you are passionate about are not random. They are your calling.
1. Hanging out with people who don’t appreciate you, or who suck all the energy out of your life.
2. Running from your problems and hiding from the truth
3. Acting as a door mat and putting yourself last.
4. Longing for the past and the way things used to be.
5. Beating yourself up for the stupid things you did
6. Looking to others to make you feel happy, or believing that “stuff” will bring you happiness.
7. Rejecting new relationships because you were hurt, or you were disappointed in the past.
8. Being jealous of other people. It’s not a competition – set some goals, and go for them.
9. Holding grudges. Forgive, let it go – and then move on with your life.
10. Trying to be perfect. It’s not realistic so don’t waste your time.