Category: depression

You’re so obsessed with finding someone to love you because you can’t love yourself.

Life is messy. Be brave.

We are very good at preparing to live, but not very good at living. We know how to sacrifice ten years for a diploma, and we are willing to work very hard to get a job, a car, a house, and so on. But we have difficulty remembering that we are alive in the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive.

1. Try not to take it personally. Some relationships were never meant to be, and some simply don’t work out in the end. It isn’t always a reflection on you (or even them).

2. Act as if you’re happy, and are coping, with your life. Often, “fake it till you make” can make a difference. It can give you needed strength so you can make it through each day.

3. Choose to be thankful for the happy memories; and choose to forgive all the heartache and the pain.

4. See this as a stepping stone – the future lies ahead. You may still meet someone special who will bring you happiness!

5. Let go of the old memories, the unmet expectation, the bitter disappointments and frustrated hopes and dream. Only then will you be ready to live and love again.

6. Be patient, understanding and kind to yourself. It takes time to recover from a major loss in life.

Always be kinder than you feel.

She picked up the pieces of her life and created something beautiful. From that day forth she shone like the sun and changed the definition of broken.

1. Try to put into words exactly how you’re feeling. Is it the pain of rejection? Is it an overwhelming feeling of shame and self-loathing? Is it a sense of disbelief that you’ve been treated so cruelly by others? Is it a sense of utter desperation?

2. Try to find a way of expressing the pain. Sometimes we can tell the person who has hurt us– but often we feel that they won’t be responsive. If that is the case, find someone you can open up to. It’s really important that you have the chance to honestly express what you’re going through. If you feel there’s no-one you can talk to right now, then perhaps try journaling, or using some kind of art, like music or painting.

3. If the pain’s related to something that happened, admit that you can’t go back and change the past. You need to let it go and keep your eyes ahead. You are not defined by what happened to you, and you have what it takes to live a rich, rewarding life.

4. Related to this, forgive yourself and don’t hold on to regrets. Learn what you can – and then choose to move ahead. Don’t be a victim of your past, or other people.

5. Reconnect with who you were previously. Think of who you might have been if this had never happened. You can still be that person: they are still a part of you.

6. Focus on the things that bring you joy and happiness, and focus on those people who love care for you.

1. The same themes and patterns (which are usually self-defeating) keep reappearing, or repeating themselves.

2. Unresolved issues and heatache from your past, are stopping you from living and enjoying your life now. These are triggered more frequently and easily today.

3. You have trouble coping with powerful emotions – like overwhelming anger or excessive crying.

4. You feel anxious, restless and dissatisfied, and feel as if something needs to change in your life.

5. You feel dazed or shocked by something that has happened, and can’t pick up the pieces and “be normal” again.

6. You keep pushing down your feelings, and denying your emotions, but they keep resurfacing – and just won’t go away.

7. You make superficial changes as you’re scared of digging deeper. – but that doesn’t work for long as the real problem’s still there.

8. You can’t let go of something that meant a lot to you – a disappointment, or a failure, or a past relationship.

You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.

Sometimes the most healing thing we can do is remind ourselves, over and over, that other people feel this too.