1. Know the friends or people who tend to wear you out, and deliberately limit the time you spend with them.
2. Be aware of how your thought patterns change throughout the day, and challenge these thought patterns when they’re harsh or negative.
3. Recognise that it is normal to struggle with your feelings. Feelings can be fickle – so don’t let them rule your life.
4. Set some personal goals that use your talents and your gifts. It’s good to stretch ourselves, and to be all that we can be.
5. Be gentle with yourself when you are anxious, tired and stressed. Be kind, and understanding, and give yourself a break.
6. Self-nurturing is crucial for a healthy self esteem. You need to treat yourself as you would treat a special friend.
7. Remember: We ALL fail. It’s just normal part of life. What matters is you’re learning and you’re changing over time.
I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty … And I could not have described it any better.
1. The same themes and patterns (which are usually self-defeating) keep reappearing, or repeating themselves.
2. Hurt, and unresolved issues and problems from your past, are stopping you from living and enjoying your life now. Also, these are triggered more frequently than previously.
3. You have trouble coping with powerful emotions – like overwhelming anger or excessive crying.
4. You feel anxious, restless and dissatisfied, and feel as if something needs to change in your life.
5. You feel dazed or shocked by something that has happened, and can’t pick up the pieces and just ‘be normal’ again.
6. You keep pushing down your feelings, and denying your emotions, but they keep resurfacing – and crying for attention.
7. You’re afraid of digging deeper … so you make a lot of changes that are surface, superficial – but don’t really set you free.
8. You can’t let go of something that meant a lot to you – a disappointment, or a failure, or a past relationship.
1. Don’t think about what could or should have been
2. Ground yourself in the present; think of ONE thing you enjoy
3. Read inspiring stories, books, quotes and blogs
4. Listen to music that helps to lift your mood
5. Decide to be a winner – no matter what it takes
6. Accept that blocks and failures are a normal part of life
7. Decide to take a step towards the life you want to have.
A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.
1. “I’m no good at …”
Say instead “It’s just a skill, and something I can learn.”
2. “I’m such a failure …”
Say instead “I got it wrong, and everybody makes mistakes.”
3. “There’s no point in trying …”
Say instead “It maybe hard, but step by step will get me there in time.”
4. “Everybody hates me; I’ve got no friends …”
Say instead “It doesn’t really matter what these people think about me. There are others who will recognize my value and worth.”
5. “I hate myself. I deserve to be rejected …”
Say instead “I am beautiful inside, and have value and worth. I deserve to be cherished and be treated well.”
If you ignore your feelings they will get your attention in other ways.
1. Find out the kind of depression they are suffering from. Symptoms of clinical depression include sleep difficulties, loss of appetite, a desire to isolate themselves, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, suicidal tendencies and an inability to determine the cause of their depression. Those with situational depression may have some of the same symptoms but they generally know why they feel as they do, and once the issue is resolved, they are able to function normally again.
2. Be available to listen, or just be there for them. Sometimes you don’t need to say a word. Don’t offer opinions or advice; don’t judge them; be patient and understanding; be empathic, gentle and compassionate.
3. Take them out of their environment as a change of scenery can help to change our mood. It doesn’t have to be wildly exciting – just a walk by the river or a coffee at the mall is often enough to shift things a bit.
4. Don’t comment on their lifestyle (habits and patterns). Comments like “You ought to try and sleep more … or change your diet … or exercise more … are likely to shut the person down. These are often beyond the person’s control.
5. Encourage your friend to seek professional help. A friend or family member can be a real lifeline; but objective support from a professional counsellor can help them deal with the cause in a more effective way.
You owe yourself the love you so freely give to others.
1. Stay active – Make sure you build exercise into your life.
2. Stay warm – Wear plenty of clothes, and have hot drinks and meals as feeling cold can make you feel depressed and blue.
3. Go outside – And get all the light you can. The days may be short but you can still grab some fresh air.
4. Eat a healthy diet – As high carbs affect our mood, and a drop in sugar level will cause feelings to slump.
5. Spend time with other people – Don’t isolate yourself … And being with good friends and family can keep your spirits high.
6. Keep busy – Try a new activity or do something you love, as feeling bored and empty will exacerbate the blues.
7. Play your favourite music – The kind that lifts your mood, and blows away the cobwebs, and leaves you feeling good.