Category: mental health

What is Attachment Disorder?

Attachment disorder is where a child or adult is unable to form normal healthy attachments. This is usually due to detrimental early life experiences – such as neglect, abuse, separation from their parents or primary caregivers (after six months of age and before three years of age), frequent change of caregivers, and lack of responsiveness from their caregivers.

Symptoms vary depending on age. In adults, they fall under one of two categories – either avoidant or anxious/ ambivalent personalities. These are summarized below.

1. Avoidant

· Intense anger and hostility

· Hypercritical of others

· Extremely sensitive to criticism, correction or blame

· Lacks empathy

· Sees others as untrustworthy and unreliable

· Either sees themselves as being unlovable or “too good” for others

· Relationships are experienced as either being too threatening or requiring too much effort

· Fear of closeness and intimacy

· Compulsive self-reliance

· Passive or uninvolved in relationships

· Find it hard to get along with co-workers and authority figures

· Prefers to work alone, or to be self employed

· May use work to avoid investing in relationships

2. Anxious/ Ambivalent

· Demonstrates compulsive caregiving

· Problems with establishing and maintaining appropriate boundaries

· Feels they give more than they get back

· Feels their efforts aren’t noticed or appreciated

· Idealizes people

· Expects their partner to repeatedly demonstrate their love, affection and commitment to them, and the relationship

· Emotionally over-invests in friendships and romantic relationships

· Are preoccupied with close relationships

· Overly dependent on their partner

· Believes that others are out to use them or to take advantage of them

· Fears rejection

· Is uncomfortable with anger

· Experiences a roller coaster of emotions – and often these are extremes of emotion

· Tends to be possessive and jealous; finds it hard to trust

· Believes they are essentially flawed, inadequate and unlovable.

For quiet, sensitive souls, solitude is the go…

For quiet, sensitive souls, solitude is the golden thread that unites us with our inner world. We need quiet to connect the dots in our constellations of thoughts.

I advise you to stop sharing your dreams with …

I advise you to stop sharing your dreams with people who try to hold you back, even if they’re your parents. Because, if you’re the kind of person who senses there’s something out there for you beyond whatever it is you’re expected to do – if you want to be EXTRA-ordinary – you will not get there by hanging around a bunch of people who tell you you’re not extraordinary. Instead, you will probably become as ordinary as they expect you to be.

8 Things to Stop Worrying About

1. Other peoples’ expectations for you. At the end of the day, it’s your life – not theirs- so just be yourself, and set your own personal goals.

2. What other people say and do. It’s not up to us to control other people, or to change how they act, or try to influence their decisions.

3. Aiming for perfection. It’s unrealistic to aim for perfection. You’ll just be disappointed and discouraged all the time.

4. Getting it wrong. We all make mistakes in our journey through this life. That’s simply part of learning, and of being normal and human.

6. Fitting in. Although social skills matter, and it’s good to fit in, you also need to be yourself – a unique, special individual. Also, conformity can kill individuality.

7. Being right. This is highly over-rated and can cause a lot of stress. If you’re confident and real you don’t need to prove you’re right!

8. Life being out of control. At the end of the day, there’s not much we can control – except our own reactions and our attitudes to life. So change what you can change – and then relax and enjoy life.

One day your life will flash before you. Make …

One day your life will flash before you. Make sure it’s worth watching.

To be a Great Person …

1. Treat everyone with compassion and kindness

2. Treat everyone as valuable

3. Be interested in others (and not just yourself)

4. Look for, and comment on, the best in other people

5. Be there for your friends when they’re going through tough times

6. Think of little things that could make another’s day

7. Motivate others to be all that they can be.

Happiness will come to you when you let go of …

Happiness will come to you when you let go of the hurt that is holding you back.

10 Easy Ways to Brighten Someone’s Day

1. Be generous with your smiles

2. Listen attentively when people talk to you.

3. Be warm and friendly. If you don’t know the people in the group, be the first one to introduce yourself.

4. Pay others compliments (make sure they are genuine – and not fake).

5. Be considerate and polite to both friends and strangers.

6. If you’re going to a party or social event, offer to be the designated driver.

7. Turn up on time (or arrive a few minutes early).

8. Overlook minor mistakes.

9. Never shame or embarrass others.

10. Give people the benefit of the doubt. If uncertain, think the best, not the worst of others.

I do not need someone to complete me. But if y…

I do not need someone to complete me. But if you wanted to, we could walk next to each other into whatever is coming next.

Life is about balance. Be kind, but don’t let …

Life is about balance. Be kind, but don’t let people abuse you. Trust, but don’t be deceived. Be content, but never stop improving yourself.