1. Other peoples’ expectations for you. At the end of the day, it’s your life – not theirs- so just be yourself, and set your own personal goals.
2. What other people say and do. It’s not up to us to control other people, or to change how they act, or try to influence their decisions.
3. Aiming for perfection. It’s unrealistic to aim for perfection. You’ll just be disappointed and discouraged all the time.
4. Getting it wrong. We all make mistakes in our journey through this life. That’s simply part of learning, and of being normal and human.
6. Fitting in. Although social skills matter, and it’s good to fit in, you also need to be yourself – a unique, special individual. Also, conformity can kill individuality.
7. Being right. This is highly over-rated and can cause a lot of stress. If you’re confident and real you don’t need to prove you’re right!
8. Life being out of control. At the end of the day, there’s not much we can control – except our own reactions and our attitudes to life. So change what you can change – and then relax and enjoy life.
1. They twist your words and use them against you.
2. They’re mean – but then they say that you misunderstood them.
3. They make you feel guilty for saying, no.
4. They act cold towards you if you don’t do what they want.
5. You never feel as if you meet their expectations.
6. You feel as if you’re walking on eggshells all the time.
7. You feel very confused by the relationship.
8. You constantly feel anxious about the relationship.
9. You’re not allowed to have your own views and opinions.
10.They cause you to question your sanity.
1. Don’t listen to the voice inside your head that tells you that you are inadequate.
2. Don’t hang out with people who look for the flaws and can’t see the best in the people in their lives.
3. Recognise that each person is different and unique. There is no-one like you – and you have great attributes.
4. Take note of your efforts, and the progress you have made. You’ve already come far. You should celebrate that!
5. Appreciate others, and what you gain from them. Don’t see them as people who undermine you.
6. Remember that NO-ONE is perfect at all – and that other people struggle with the same stuff as well.
7. Go after what matters the most in this life: being loyal, and thoughtful, and caring, and kind.
You can’t always have a good day, but you can always face a bad day with a good attitude.
Take all the time you need to heal emotionally. Moving on doesn’t take a day. It takes a lot of little steps to be able to break free of your broken self.
Feelings are just visitors, let them come and go.
1. Take responsibility for what you said or did.
2. Think about how you were feeling at the time, or what was driving you to act in that way.
3. Related to this, try to identify the underlying need, or the motive behind the thing you now regret. (For example, respect from others, approval from others, wanting to feel good about yourself, wanting to pay another back, and so on.)
4. Express your regrets and attempt to make amends if your words or your actions have affected someone else.
5. Think of how you’ll change and will act differently, if the same situation occurs again. This is the real person that you truly want to be.
6. Write yourself a caring and empathic letter where you forgive yourself, and tell yourself you can move on.
7. Remember that your human – and we all have deep regrets; and we’re all on a journey – for there’s non-one who is perfect.
Until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex; but eventually it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hand inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past – the memories – and make peace with them.
1. Accept the reality of what has happened.
2. Accept and experience the full negative emotional impact. For example, it’s likely to damage your self-confidence and undermine your self-esteem. You are also likely to experience loss.
3. Talk about it with people who understand and care. This will help you to process the negative emotions so you can start to heal and move on with your life.
4. Change the way you think about yourself and the negative experience. See it as something you can learn and grow from – and not as something that destroys your life.
5. “When one door closes another opens” so get back in the game and embrace life again. Set yourself new goals, and embrace a dream again. Something even better may be waiting for you!
I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety and fear.