1. In order to achieve any goal you have set, you need commit yourself whole-heartedly to it.
2. Try to be specific and identify those areas which seem to be affecting your self-confidence the most.
3. Try to identify the triggers that have caused you to feel bad, or have undermined your value. List as many as you possibly can.
4. We all start from different places, and all have different weaknesses. Change is possible for you – though it may take work and time.
5. List of all your strengths and your positive traits. If you can, get a trusted friend to help you with this.
6. Think of who you want to be, and then formulate a plan. Start by taking baby steps as this helps build confidence.
7. Notice your successes, and be proud of how you’re changing. Then use this as a springboard to develop further changes.
1. Don’t negotiate with them. For emotional manipulators, it’s all about having, exerting and gaining more power. So they’ll always push for more and they’ll never compromise.
2. Don’t engage with them. Don’t try to talk, or reason, or discuss some matter with them – as they’ll try to twist your motives, and leave you feeling bad.
3. Don’t confront them. They’re quick to take offense and they love an argument. They’ll then turn and attack you – and never let things go.
4. Know your own personal buttons. They’ll aim to press your buttons to get a strong reaction. But knowing yourself well means you have the upper hand. Plan how to ‘not react’ and to stay detached and calm.
5. Refuse to accept help as they’ll treat you like “you owe them”. You’ll then be in their debt – so it’s hard to feel you’re free.
Love yourself enough to take the actions required for your happiness … enough to cut yourself loose from the drama-filled past … enough to set a high standard for relationships …enough to feed your mind and body in a healthy manner … enough to forgive yourself … enough to move on.
My biggest regrets in life are being too damn nice, apologizing when I didn’t do anything wrong, and making unworthy people a priority in my life.
1. Relax your breathing. Take deliberate slow, deep breaths, and feel the tension begin to subside.
2. Clear your mind of disturbing thoughts. Remind yourself of all your strengths, of those occasions when you’ve coped in the past, and of things you still have to look forward to.
3. Shut off the critical parent in your head. We all have weaknesses and make mistakes. Don’t abandon, attack, or reject yourself. You need to support, and to nurture, yourself.
4. Practice self-care. Temporarily step back from the stressful situation. Maybe listen to some music, or message a friend, or play with your pet, or go for a walk.
5. Respond – don’t react. You don’t have to do anything right now. Take a moment to take control of your feelings and your thoughts. Then assess the situations, and think through different options.
6. You may have to put up protective boundaries. We often don’t have the energy to give at these times – so withdraw from people who would drain your energy.
7. A burden shared is a burden halved. Share how you feel with someone who cares. It’s good to ask for help when you’re worried or afraid.
1. Know the friends or people who tend to wear you out, and deliberately limit the time you spend with them.
2. Be aware of how your thought patterns change throughout the day, and challenge these thought patterns when they’re harsh or negative.
3. Recognise that it is normal to struggle with your feelings. Feelings can be fickle – so don’t let them rule your life.
4. Set some personal goals that use your talents and your gifts. It’s good to stretch ourselves, and to be all that we can be.
5. Be gentle with yourself when you are anxious, tired and stressed. Be kind, and understanding, and give yourself a break.
6. Self-nurturing is crucial for a healthy self esteem. You need to treat yourself as you would treat a special friend.
7. Remember: We ALL fail. It’s just normal part of life. What matters is you’re learning and you’re changing over time.
Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and forgiving heart. Be the one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.
I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty … And I could not have described it any better.
There’s really no shortcut to forgetting someone. You just have to endure missing them everyday until you don’t anymore.
1. The same themes and patterns (which are usually self-defeating) keep reappearing, or repeating themselves.
2. Hurt, and unresolved issues and problems from your past, are stopping you from living and enjoying your life now. Also, these are triggered more frequently than previously.
3. You have trouble coping with powerful emotions – like overwhelming anger or excessive crying.
4. You feel anxious, restless and dissatisfied, and feel as if something needs to change in your life.
5. You feel dazed or shocked by something that has happened, and can’t pick up the pieces and just ‘be normal’ again.
6. You keep pushing down your feelings, and denying your emotions, but they keep resurfacing – and crying for attention.
7. You’re afraid of digging deeper … so you make a lot of changes that are surface, superficial – but don’t really set you free.
8. You can’t let go of something that meant a lot to you – a disappointment, or a failure, or a past relationship.