Category: relationships

We’re afraid others will see our flaws, weaknesses and insecurities. We’re afraid if others really knew us, they would reject us. We feel like fakes and frauds in a world that seems to have it all together.

Deep in my heart I know I am a loner. I’ve tried to blend in with the world and be sociable, but the more people I meet the more disappointed I am. So I’ve learned to enjoy myself, my family, and a few good friends.

Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing, and love people. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you, and stay.

1. Don’t negotiate with them. For emotional manipulators, it’s all about having, exerting and gaining more power. So they’ll always push for more and they’ll never compromise.

2. Don’t engage with them. Don’t try to talk, or reason, or discuss some matter with them – as they’ll try to twist your motives, and leave you feeling bad.

3. Don’t confront them. They’re quick to take offense and they love an argument. They’ll then turn and attack you – and never let things go.

4. Know your own personal buttons. They’ll aim to press your buttons to get a strong reaction. But knowing yourself well means you have the upper hand. Plan how to ‘not react’ and to stay detached and calm.

5. Refuse to accept help as they’ll treat you like “you owe them”. You’ll then be in their debt – so it’s hard to feel you’re free.

We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk.

Stay single until someone actually complements your life in a way that makes it better not to be single. If not, it’s not worth it.

1. Know the friends or people who tend to wear you out, and deliberately limit the time you spend with them.

2. Be aware of how your thought patterns change throughout the day, and challenge these thought patterns when they’re harsh or negative.

3. Recognise that it is normal to struggle with your feelings. Feelings can be fickle – so don’t let them rule your life.

4. Set some personal goals that use your talents and your gifts. It’s good to stretch ourselves, and to be all that we can be.

5. Be gentle with yourself when you are anxious, tired and stressed. Be kind, and understanding, and give yourself a break.

6. Self-nurturing is crucial for a healthy self esteem. You need to treat yourself as you would treat a special friend.

7. Remember: We ALL fail. It’s just normal part of life. What matters is you’re learning and you’re changing over time.

When it’s over, leave. Don’t continue watering a dead flower.

Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and forgiving heart. Be the one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.

There’s really no shortcut to forgetting someone. You just have to endure missing them everyday until you don’t anymore.