Category: selfcare

Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care.

There will always be someone who can’t see your worth. Don’t let it be you.

Never giving up is how you win.

I’ve learned a lot this year. I learned that things don’t always turn our the way you planned, or the way you think they should. And I’ve learned that there are things that go wrong that don’t always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. I’ve learned that some broken things stay broken, and I’ve learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you

1. Distract yourself. Let your mind wander and think about fun things you’ve planned; or watch a funny movie; or call up a friend.

2. Play your favourite music.

3. Try and balance out your terrible day by thinking of something that went really well (and maybe unexpectedly well) recently.

4. Try to squeeze in time for exercise. The endorphins this releases will help to lift your mood.

5. Don’t isolate yourself. Research shows that we generally feel better if we spend time with others, rather than retreating and being on our own.

6. Try to maintain perspective. Ask yourself, “How much will this matter – a week, month or year from now?”

7. Try journaling. Many people find that just writing things down helps to drain away the negativity.

8. Go to bed early and try to fall asleep … And remember that tomorrow is another day.

Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones to rise above them.

So often we try to make other people feel better by minimizing their pain, by telling them that it will get better (which it will) or that there are worse things in the world (which there are). But that’s not what I actually needed. What I actually needed was for someone to tell me that it hurt because it mattered.
I have found this very useful to think about over the years, and I find that it is a lot easier and more bearable to be sad when you aren’t constantly berating yourself for being sad.

1. Don’t expect empathy, understanding, praise and recognition from a narcissistic person. Keep your private thoughts and feelings close to your heart, and don’t open up and make yourself vulnerable.

2. Expect them to be rude and to say offensive things.

3. Don’t be offended by the things they say and do as it’s not about you – they treat others the same way.

4. Make a lot of their achievements and praise them publicly as they’re always looking to be noticed and affirmed.

5. Don’t try to get a narcissist to see things differently as they’re not going to change, or be influenced by you.

6. Understand that a narcissist is going to drain you dry – and will guilt you into think that you haven’t done enough. But it’s actually not true. They just can’t be satisfied.

7. Don’t push for a meaningful relationship with them. It will always be one-sided. Look for love from someone else.

The world tells you many lies about who you are, and you simply have to be realistic enough to remind yourself of this. Every time you feel hurt, offended, or rejected, you have to dare to say to yourself: ‘These feelings, strong as they may be, are not telling me the truth about myself.

1. Don’t negotiate with them. For emotional manipulators, it’s all about having, exerting and gaining more power. So they’ll always push for more and they’ll never compromise.

2. Don’t engage with them. Don’t try to talk, or reason, or discuss some matter with them – as they’ll try to twist your motives, and leave you feeling bad.

3. Don’t confront them. They’re quick to take offense and they love an argument. They’ll then turn and attack you – and never let things go.

4. Know your own personal buttons. They’ll aim to press your buttons to get a strong reaction. But knowing yourself well means you have the upper hand. Plan how to ‘not react’ and to stay detached and calm.

5. Refuse to accept help as they’ll treat you like ‘you owe them’. You’ll then be in their debt – so it’s hard to feel you’re free.