Category: selfimprovement

It’s OK to not be OK. Just don’t give up.

1. You matter. Your thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, wishes, longings, fears, anxieties – they all matter.

2. There is no-one else like you. You can play a unique role in the world and in other peoples’ lives. The world will be a poorer place without your own very special contribution.

3. You were made to be loved, wanted and treasured. It’s not just a matter of accepting or putting with who you are. You were meant to be valued and cherished by others.

4. You were made to live a full and happy life.

5. You were made to have purpose and to go after your dreams – to feel that you achieve and your life is meaningful.

6. Your life is a gift – it is given as you matter. You’re a beautiful person. Be all that you can be.

Be forgiving. Be understanding. But don’t be a fool.

You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that made you wiser, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything you still grow. Be proud of this.

1. Change your environment

2. Get outside and focus on nature

3. Journal

4. Talk to someone who cares about you

5. Do something thoughtful for someone else

6. Tidy up your physical space

7. Get absorbed in a great book

You must tell yourself, ‘No matter how hard it is, or how hard it gets, I’m going to make it.

Anxious people can have a hard time staying motivated, period, because their intense focus on their worries distracts them from their goals.

If you want to succeed in your life, remember this phrase. The past does not equal the future. Because you failed yesterday; or all day today, or a moment ago, or for the last six months; the last 16 years, or the last fifty years of life doesn’t mean anything…all that matters is what are you going to do, right now.

1. All-or-nothing thinking: Looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle ground (“If I fall short of perfection, I’m a total failure.”)

2. Overgeneralization: Generalizing from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold true forever (“I didn’t get hired for the job. I’ll never get any job.”)

3. The mental filter: Focusing on the negatives while filtering out all the positives. Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right.

4. Diminishing the positive: Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count (“I did well on the presentation, but that was just dumb luck.”)

5. Jumping to conclusions: Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You act like a mind reader (“I can tell she secretly hates me.”) or a fortune teller (“I just know something terrible is going to happen.”)

6. Catastrophizing: Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen (“The pilot said we’re in for some turbulence. The plane’s going to crash!”)

7. Emotional reasoning: Believing that the way you feel reflects reality (“I feel frightened right now. That must mean I’m in real physical danger.”)

8. ‘Shoulds’ and ‘should-nots’: Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and shouldn’t do and beating yourself up if you break any of the rule

9. Labeling: Labeling yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings (“I’m a failure; an idiot; a loser.”)

10. Personalization: Assuming responsibility for things that are outside your control (“It’s my fault my son got in an accident. I should have warned him to drive carefully in the rain.”)

Source: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/anxiety_self_help.htm

They weren’t capable of loving in the way you loved. It’s not your fault.