Category: socialanxiety

I lied and said I was busy; but not in a way most people understand. I was busy taking deeper breaths. I was busy silencing irrational thoughts. I was busy calming a racing heart. I was busy telling myself I am OK.

1. Recognize that most people feel that way at times – even if they hide it well, and they look quite confident.

2. Pay attention to your selftalk. Don’t criticize yourself. Be kind and understanding, and gentle with yourself.

3. Try to locate the source of your feelings. Is it because you are in a new situation and don’t know what is expected of you? Is it because you’re naturally introverted and shy? Is it because you’ve been bullied or made fun of it the past? Is it because you feel you don’t belong, or haven’t been accepted by the people you are with?

4. Attack and address the source of those negative feelings. Work on accepting, valuing and thinking well of yourself. Also, making small talk, being friendly and chatting naturally are skills that you can work on and master over time.

5. Expect things to go well, and focus hard on being relaxed.

6. Try to act confident (ignore the way you feel). You’ll find that you feel better, less anxious and afraid.

1. Don’t focus on your feelings.

2. Remember that your fears are in your head – and the people you are with want to get to know you better.

3. Remember all those times when you’ve overcome your fears. Try to picture what you did, and how you felt when things went well.

4. Start up a conversation by noticing or commenting on something nice or cool about the person you’re with.

5. Ask open questions (which aren’t personal.) For example, where they’d like to travel to, or what they’re studying.

6. Smile, be polite, and be interested in others.

. Take the pressure off yourself, take your time to join in, and don’t feel you have to be something you’re not.

Sometimes the best goal you can set is just to get out of bed every day. If you can succeed at this, then other things become possible.

This is very similar to generalized social phobia. Those with the disorder think of themselves as being inadequate, unlikeable and socially inept. They fear being rejected, criticised or ridiculed and would rather avoid most social situations. The reasons can differ may be related to emotional neglect and peer group rejection in childhood and/ or adolescence. Symptoms may include the following:

– Hypersensitivity to rejection/criticism

– Self-imposed social isolation

– Extreme shyness or anxiety in social situations. (However, the person still has a strong desire for close and meaningful relationships)

– May avoid physical contact with others (because it is associated with emotional or physical pain)

– Painful feelings of inadequacy

– Poor self-esteem

– Intense feelings of self consciousness

– Self hatred or self-loathing

– Mistrust of others

– Emotional distancing/ fear of intimacy

– Highly critical of their ability to relate naturally and appropriately to others

– Do not feel they can connect with others (although others may view them as easy to relate to)

– Intense feelings of inferiority.

In more extreme cases, may suffer from agoraphobia.

Treatment approaches include social skills training, cognitive therapy, gradually increasing exposure to social situations, group therapy and, occasionally, drug therapy. Gaining and keeping the client’s trust is essential for progress to be made.

Nobody realizes that some people expend a tremendous energy trying to be normal.

1. Don’t take criticism personally. Instead, realize that criticism says more about them than it does about you.

2. Distinguish between facts and subjectivity. Most criticisms are just personal opinions. They are not objective and they don’t reflect the truth.

3. Look at the beliefs you hold about yourself. Do you feel defensive and under attacked because you don’t believe in yourself?

4. Learn what you can from any comments that are made – and discard the rest as being useless information.

5. Decide not to ruminate on barbs or criticisms – as that will reinforce the message in your brain.

6. Choose to spend more time with people who’re affirming – and minimise the time you spend with those who put you down.

7. Look for a role model who can handle criticism – and try to copy them, so you become more thick skinned, too.

Like most sensitive souls, you already know you’re sensitive. You soak up others’ moods and desires like a sponge. You absorb sensation the way a paintbrush grasps each color it touches on a palette.

1. Avoid people who’re always trying to get them to go to social events.

2. Say they’re sick, or have too much homework, to get out of going to social events.

3. Worry constantly about being judged by other people.

4. Feel bad about preferring being alone.

5. Think others criticize and talk about them.

6. Hide in the bathroom to get away from the crowd.

7. Always take a friend to a social event.

1. Avoid people who’re always trying to get them to go to social events.

2. Say they’re sick, or have too much homework, to get out of going to social events.

3. Worry constantly about being judged by other people.

4. Feel bad about preferring being alone.

5. Think others criticize and talk about them.

6. Hide in the bathroom to get away from the crowd.

7. Always take a friend to a social event.